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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116296">Pulling Pigtails</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaleTheSnail/pseuds/GaleTheSnail'>GaleTheSnail</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Silicon Valley (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I Tried, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:40:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,358</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaleTheSnail/pseuds/GaleTheSnail</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilfoyle ponders his interactions with Dinesh after talking with Jared.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dinesh Chugtai/Bertram Gilfoyle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pulling Pigtails</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know exactly what this is, but I had to write it down today.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gilfoyle stumbled out of his room after his usual mid-evening nap. Staying up for forty-eight hours straight helping a company re-build their system architecture was mindless work for him, but it did take a toll on his sleeping habits.</p>
<p>He always felt like an overgrown toddler, so disoriented after waking up at odd hours. Gilfoyle was looking forward to remedying this with his favorite pastimes: eating mushrooms, getting drunk, and torturing Dinesh. However, after stepping out of his room and throwing on his glasses, he noticed he was alone in the living room of the hacker hostel. Although he enjoyed his solitude, Gilfoyle found the sudden lack of noise unsettling. There was always someone around working or playing video games.</p>
<p><em>‘And where the hell is Dinesh?’</em> Gilfoyle thought to himself. He suddenly remembered Dinesh saying something about a Tinder date that night. Walking to the kitchen to grab his bottle of Jack Daniels, he felt a strong twinge of annoyance and disappointment at the hitch in his plans.</p>
<p>Just as he was sitting down in front of his monitor with a freshly poured glass of whiskey, Gilfoyle perked up as he heard keys in the front door.</p>
<p>A disheveled looking Dinesh sauntered in with his head down. For the first time, Gilfoyle turned his head to look at the clock. Being only 8:35pm, he could only surmise that Dinesh’s plans could not have been that exciting.</p>
<p>Gilfoyle’s eyes turned to thin slits behind his glasses. He was a simple man of simple pleasures, but nothing seemed to bring him more joy than a down-trodden Dinesh. In moments such as this he likened himself to a shark, and Dinesh’s misery was chum in the water.</p>
<p>“So, yet another mishap in a long and unending line of failures, eh Dinesh? What happened? She was disappointed that you didn’t put ‘virgin, Indian dolt’ on your dating profile?</p>
<p>“First of all, fuck you. I am Pakistani,” Dinesh said in a bored voice as he threw his keys down by his desk station.</p>
<p>“Secondly, is that the best you can do? Surely you have been sitting here in the dark, alone, on a Saturday night thinking up witty, racist barbs to hurl at me. I thought you would have at least brought your A-game.”</p>
<p>Gilfoyle nearly smirked which, for him, registered as a full-fledged smile.</p>
<p>“For your information Tonto, while you were busy disappointing yet another member of the female species, I was resting up. Some of us actually like to be sharp when we’re working,” Gilfoyle retorted.</p>
<p>“Work??!!!??? Give me a break…”</p>
<p>Dinesh’s next words were cut off by the sound of the door that led to the garage opening and closing. Just then Jared emerged with a beautiful woman. Dinesh and Gilfoyle stopped and stared in wonder as Jared escorted her to the door.</p>
<p>“You are spectacular. I really enjoyed spending time with you. Let’s meet up again soon…”</p>
<p>As Jared closed the door on his smiling companion, Dinesh seemed to find his words again.</p>
<p>“Do you see that? Even Jared has more interesting things to do on a Saturday night than you,” Dinesh taunted gleefully.</p>
<p>“I’m sure Jared has no problem picking up strays at the Mr. Rogers fan convention.”</p>
<p>“Actually her name is Lisa and we met in a bird watching group,” Jared said to the room at large. No one seemed to be listening though as Dinesh and Gilfoyle were still locked in their battle of wills.</p>
<p>“…I, on the other hand,” Gilfoyle continued, “…put a little more thought into my seduction process,” Gilfoyle finished in his normal monotone voice. Although, an edge of irritation was beginning to creep in.</p>
<p>“Ha! Seduction process? Admit it…before I walked in here you were just going to finish off that bottle of Jack Daniels and jerk off to Anton like you do every weekend.”</p>
<p>“Would you rather I make pathetic and desperate attempts at human connection on some dating app? How many of the ladies are going for mediocre tech guys whose hottest kiss was with his auntie?”</p>
<p>“Ok. Fuck you. I told you that in confidence. Also, as pathetic, and desperate as my dating life may be, at least I’m not some lonely alcoholic whose great pleasure in life comes from insulting his roommates.”</p>
<p>Gilfoyle watched intently as Dinesh stalked off to his room and slammed the door behind him.</p>
<p>“What a fucking baby.” He sat there for a moment staring at the empty space previously occupied by Dinesh and feeling frustrated at the abrupt end to the conversation.</p>
<p>“Shut up Jared,” Gilfoyle said, looking to direct his annoyance elsewhere. Jared was sitting there peaceably staring at him in the kindly, probing way he often did to Richard.</p>
<p>“Oh no. Far be it from me to pile on in the playful banter you have with Dinesh. I guess I should just keep my opinions to myself.”</p>
<p>“Opinions on what? Me fucking with Dinesh?”</p>
<p>“Well, it does seem as though you have a tendency to single him out and I couldn’t help but to form my own theory as to why that would be the case.”</p>
<p>“Please spare me the details of your MBA, touchy-feely psychobabble.”</p>
<p>“Well, while Vassar did have some interesting classes on Industrial Psychology, my theory about you and Dinesh comes from a more juvenile phenomenon. Have you ever heard the concept of ‘pulling pig tails?’</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Pulling someone’s pigtails refers to insulting, harassing, or showing aggression towards an individual to overcompensate for or hide an underlying attraction towards that individual.”</p>
<p>A long and uncomfortable silence followed Jared’s theory. Gilfoyle kept waiting for Jared to turn away in sheer discomfort from his expressionless death glare, but it was having the opposite effect. Jared just kept looking at Gilfoyle with his innocent, doe-eyes which managed to enrage him more and more by the second. He had no choice except to break the silence.</p>
<p>“You think I want to fuck Dinesh?”</p>
<p>“Well maybe, but not exactly. I know that when you insult me it is out of jocular friendship…”</p>
<p>“We’re not friends.”</p>
<p>“…However, it seems like more of a delightful sport for you when you tease him. Even when you refer to me as Katy Perry’s more feminine brother or the world’s most talkative anal bead, it’s not said with the same panache that you reserve for Dinesh.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps you’re confused. I treat you all the same because you’re all just lemmings in a house to me. Richard implodes, Erlich is either too high or too pompous to care, and you, for some reason, think that we are friends. Dinesh, because he has the disposition of a five-year old girl, is the only one who responds to me in an antagonistic way.”</p>
<p>“Well, I guess now was not the time to broach the subject. I will let you approach your special friendship with Dinesh in any way that you see fit. Whenever, you’re ready to talk about it though, my ears and my heart are always open. Goodnight Gilfoyle!”</p>
<p>Gilfoyle sat in the dark, loathing Jared for his kind and knowing smile. He picked up his bottle of whiskey and plopped down on the couch in the next room. This had been the weirdest night he had experienced in recent memory. He turned on his console to play a little Bloodborne and get his mind off of his idiotic roommates.</p>
<p>One half hour and three drinks later, Gilfoyle heard someone coming up behind him. Dinesh sat on the other end of the couch and picked up the second controller.</p>
<p>“Are you done sulking?”</p>
<p>“Fuck off and reset the game.”</p>
<p>Jared didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. So what if he enjoyed messing with Dinesh? Just because he has a little schadenfreude when it came to him didn’t mean he thought about him all time. Just because they spent nearly every hour of every day with each other, didn’t mean that they were best friends. Just because he looked forward to sparring with Dinesh couldn’t mean that he had a little crush on him…. could it?</p>
<p>‘Fucking Jared,’ Gilfoyle thought.</p>
<p>The End</p>
<p> </p>
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